BRITISH Christmas trees have said they cannot face being in living rooms after such a hellish year. Having been put into the loft in a world where EU membership, sanity, Bowie and about 45 other national treasures still existed, the trees said people will just have to celebrate Christmas without them.
Michael "Jim" Delligatti, the man who invented the MacDonalds Big Mac burger has died suddenly leaving people unsatisfied and feeling slightly ripped off.
His funeral will be held at Cardinal Arrest of the St Cholesterol Church in Pennsylvania, and there's to be a slice of gherkin placed in the casket that will be removed at the last minute and left on a neighbouring table. It's what he would have wanted.
PAUL Nuttall is in no way, shape or form leadership material even for UKIP.
Nuttall, resembles the sort of traffic warden who hides behind bins.
A UKIP voter and person said: “I’m one of them honest UKIP voters who admits it’s about racism and ignorance and even I wouldn’t vote for Paul Nuttall."
We've ve got a house plant that we'd rather vote for than Paul Nuttall.
In fact, we've got a slogan for him – ‘f**k all for Nuttall.
Look Stylish In An Eccentric Edwardian Drape Jacket
Colin Taub is a specialist tailors and has been long established as a family business for over 30 in East London. Colin's Tailored for many Famous people from the Royal family to Stage & Theatre, TV Shows also and for many Comedians such as Alan Partridge, Steve Coogan Plus TV show TFI Friday.
Colin specializes in mainly (Teddy Boys Suits) and Men's Evening Wear, Edwardian Suits Drapes & Drainpipe trousers Box Jackets and Western Jackets. He was the official tailors to Bill Haley's Original Comets.
And now he's the Official Tailor to Lord Toby Jug.'
John Ward is a bona fide Great British eccentric inventor, he appeared in the 2014 film along with our glorious leader in 'A Different Drummer - Celebrating Eccentrics' John and Lord Toby got on famously, and His Lordship appointed John our Minister for Inventions.
John lives near Spalding in Lincolnshire, and has been featured in several academic studies of the relationship between eccentricity & creativity and, over the last 30 years, has appeared on network TV shows worldwide, including Australia Japan, New Zealand, South America and the USA (coast-to-coast on Today Live).
Worldwide newspaper and magazine coverage has included features in the UK's Times, Express, Guardian, Sun and Mirror and, in the US, the New York Times, Readers' Digest and Time magazine.
Recent projects include designing two new Malcolm Hardee Awards for comedy, which will be presented annually at the Edinburgh Fringe until 2017.
To find out more about John check out his website...
With the country in political turmoil with politicians resigning left right and centre, a new Tory Prime Minister in Theresa May. Party leader, Lord Toby Jug, composed this song deputy leader, Brenda the Fender, a Fender Bass Vl guitar, to offer hope to all Eccentrics and free thinkers.
Keep the faith all ye Eccentrics.
The Eccentric Struggle
(Tune: The Internationale)
Arise, ye Eccentrics and be ready,
For soon the struggle will commence.
The Lib-Lab-Con-trick and UKIP parties tremble
At the dawn of common sense.
So let’s drive Labour to destruction
And send the nasty Tories away;
The UKIP are just a distraction
Let the Eccentrics lead the way:
So, come, rise up, ye Eccentrics,
As the final battle starts:
The Eccentric Party Of Great Britain
Unite our minds and hearts!
Meaning Of Eccentricity
People tend to think that ‘eccentric’ means unusually weird and wacky,” it's not. That’s not the real definition: the word is derived from Latin and simply means ‘away from the centre,’ away from what we think of as normal and ordinary.
Are You An Eccentric ?
In 2014, Lord Toby Jug, took part in a Canadian film called 'A Different Drummer - Celebrating Eccentrics' He was the only one out of the five people who were featured in the film to score 15 out of 15 in the Eccentricity test.
No one had ever got that high a score, the film people were shocked, but Toby only answered honestly to all their questions. We personally don't think we're eccentric at all, it's the rest of the world that's barking mad, not us.
Check the website out and take the test for yourself.
The Eccentric Party of Great Britain Party Conference Saturday 19th September 2015
This historic first ever party conference is to be held by the Eccentric Party of Great Britain. Events commence at 12.00 noon at The Golden Lion Hotel in the quaint little market town of St Ives in Cambridgeshire. A tug of war will be held at 3pm at St Ives River Port; the gauntlet as been thrown down to the other political parties to take on the Eccentric Party team. The event will be officiated by a representative of the British Tug of War Association and this will be followed by a Knobbly Knees Competition and Pooh Sticks on St Ives Bridge on the River Great Ouse.
A special guest will be coming in from the cold to join us for the minute's scream that will be held at 4pm in honour of the party's spiritual leader, the late, great, Screaming Lord Sutch. An Eccentric visit to the town's fine taverns and inns in the evening to spread our message to the people will commence at 6pm. All are welcome to join us on this historic day.
*The timetable is subject to change due to a large amount of confusion.
Overnight accommodation is available at the Golden Lion Hotel - just follow this link:
Uxbridge And South Ruislip General Election Result
Above: Lord Toby congratulates worthy opponent Boris Johnson on a stunning if unexpected result. A great opportuinty missed by the people of Uxbridge to fail to elect the next Eccentric Prime Minister.
What a night and what a result! Lord Toby Jug polls 50 votes for the Eccentric Party of Great Britain, an Eccentric landslide if every there was one!
Lord Toby Jug and The Eccentric Party went into the studio to record their party election song during the general election campaign "Eccentric Guitars" is now ready to view for those with a discerning ear.
Big thanks go to Joshua Francis, who composed and directed the song.
Vocals - Joshua Francis
Guitar - Chris Dowling
Drums - Dave Cee
Didgeridoo - Peter Berni
Fender Bass VI - Lord Toby Jug
Thanks also go to video operator Sam Francis, and to Lord Bungle on mandolin.
Lord Toby Jug and The Eccentrics "Eccentric Guitars"
Lord Toby Jug placing his William Hill sponsored bets - 10/1 100 votes or more, 50/1 no votes - he pledged to give all the proceeds to charity if he wins at 50/1 Final result - despite his plea for NO VOTES he polled an Eccentric 50...
Lord Toby campaigns for NO votes in Uxbridge. Help him make political history by not voting for him!
LORD TOBY JUG, PARTY LEADER caught up with Boris on 18th April and offered him his very own hair style solution, Brylcreem! He said 'it's the ideal thing to sort out your Barnet Fair out with my old son!' They held an emergency summit meeting where Lord Jug offered Boris the leadership of the Eccentic Party if he loses in Uxbridge so that he can lead us on the road to nowhere instead of the Tories. Jug will be deputy leader, of course